Overall the whole thing was very intense, and he’s a very intense person, so the combination of the two… I kind of blacked out. I think I had a panic attack. When we sat down, it was even more intense for me because I said, “Oh my God, what did we talk about? We just talked for 10 days.”
He became a little too intense and couldn’t understand that I was actually nervous. I just kept saying, “Oh, this is so weird. This is so weird.” When I left there, I was incredibly overwhelmed, and I felt like, I have to go, I have to go. I really regret it. He deserves better.
Was there something about him, in particular, that threw you beyond your own internal battle in that moment?
It wasn’t about his looks. That’s very black and white. I am not like that. I think it was the intensity. Through a wall, you obviously don’t get as much. I knew that was dramatic, but then putting everything together, it was a lot in that moment. We were recently engaged and we had this incredible relationship, but the physical state at that moment was not matching me. It kind of freaked me out. There is no other way to explain it.
When he said people call him Kennedy, and you say, “You’re more Romney.” What did it mean?
Sounds like he would be like one of Romney’s sons. I thought it was arrogant when he said that, and I thought maybe he could be taken down a notch. I was like, “Who says that? And then brings it up again?” Like, of course, I heard that. Like, I knew.
Watching [everything] Back then, I said, “Oh my God, this guy thinks he’s so hot, calls himself Jude Law.” I want to talk a little about myself. what do you think about this Me? He said all these very good things in his interview. Like, “Oh, she’s everything I could have imagined.” But I wanted to hear it, especially after the proposal that wasn’t that romantic. I was like, maybe this is the moment I’ll find this romantic thing, and it’ll be all about me. And it wasn’t really about me, and that frustrated me, too. Like, “Oh my God, this is not my person.”